While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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Knock Knock! Whos there? The Game!

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops