Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I'm hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what do u call a black men standing on top of a church. holy shit

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

so today i took a poop. hehe

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops