Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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i hate non minorities!

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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