What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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you will like this because i am black.

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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