Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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womens rights.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops