hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

These jokes don't have punchlines.

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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