Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

Dick Cheney That's the joke

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

I'm called the! no i wish am I left

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

you will like this because i am black.

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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