Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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