Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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Albert <3 Hunter

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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