roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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