A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Jimmy Saville

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? I can't remember... :(

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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This Anti-Joke is funny. haha.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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