You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +15

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops