What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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kk

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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