Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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