What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Barack Obama is a good president.

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why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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What's better than winning the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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