What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops