Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Error 37.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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Andoni was here

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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Corn Muffins

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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