- Anti Joke

If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

Sarah Palin's political campaign

I see, listen, we can all get affected by how the world perceives us at times, but the thing is, that if you allow others perception of you to become yours, then you lose yourself, then it does not matter how intelligent, resourceful, wise insightful (etc etc) you are, because it becomes what you where. You are struggling friend, and yes I am biased, you are a woman and I myself often see men as mere obstacles standing in the way for my ladies. Says a lot about me huh? Then again, we are all biased, its not something we can correct, but something we have to accept, only then can we take control over our own "bias", and use it solely to our advantage in order to excel at what we do. I find myself at loss for words, I mean believe me, I personally believe that men that consider other men superior to women, should get themselves a boyfriend instead, and also that they have clearly forgotten that line in that pretty cool movie 300. "Only women give birth to strong men". So ask yourself, do you truly consider yourself inferior because you are an attractive woman? Or are you allowing others to convince you again out of free will, or in other words, letting them get to you? Remember friend, how you choose to perceive yourself is always, ALWAYS a choice, but our society worldwide is structured in a matter, where the choice to allow others to define us rather than to seek for answers within us and change what we do not like and embrace what we love about ourselves, is well... Not an easy one, the world is about the survival of the fittest, but if we define ourselves and our values at the fittest and succeed, others will seek to follow us, people like us are not meant to become athletes nor artists that reach long distances solely to gain the praise of others and worthless gold medals that prove that we showed the world how many times we where willing to run around in circles inspired solely by their praise. Keep that in mind, remember who you truly are, and if you have become what others have told you, you can always change that for what you truly, deeply want. So as for practical advice, I suggest you reveal to "your people" that you are female, how you convey that, is the only thing that truly matters as hard as it is to realize and accept this at times. Will you walk towards them head hanging and say "sorry I am a woman"? Or will you show them what a wonderful thing that is? (How you convey that, well, I have a hard time thinking as a woman, and I am not too bothered by that to be sincere). The key there, is that you cannot fool people without fooling yourself, you have to see yourself as the wonderful woman that you are, in order to convey it. Cant say I feel too good about myself now, I would not hesitate to break a man in two if the alternative means me or those I care about getting hurt, but I had no idea I was throwing so much shit at a woman.

Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" BOOOOOOM" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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