A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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my penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops