Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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