Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops