What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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i dont fisish anythi

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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