Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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Frontbut-

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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