The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

thumb_up thumb_down +22

-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops