roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

What did the man with no head say to the women?

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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