Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. the mexican because he had to clean it first.

A praying mantis is very graceful

Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

Women's Rights

My mom

A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

Knock knock... Home invasion

If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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