What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's white and gluey Glue

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +13

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

thumb_up thumb_down +13

For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops