What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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What's white and gluey Glue

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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