What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Faithful men.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops