There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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If life gives you lemonade.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops