What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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