"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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how much c o c k could a n i g g e r lick if a f a g g o t licked a d i c k

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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Q) Why did the Koala fall out of the tree A) Because it was dead!

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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what do u call a black men standing on top of a church. holy shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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