Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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12/23/2012

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

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THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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A cat playing laser tag.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops