Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? To End His Suffering On The Farm. Suicidal Mission.... Complete

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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