In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

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Who's dumb and retarted. A person that is dumb and retarted.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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