The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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