Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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human centipede

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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a man makes a bad joke

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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taking out the trash... at night

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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