- Anti Joke

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

Dead girls can't say no.

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

Why did you step on my watermelon?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

How many gay people does it take to make a football team? 11

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

Larry The Cableguy....thats it.