There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How meny Jews can you fit in an ash-tray? None. There to big

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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