Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

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What do you call the Flintstones if they were black? N****rs

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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What is green and slow Grass.

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Why couldn't little Billy fall asleep. Because Billy didn't have any counting skills to be able to coins sheep

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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. . I am a whale

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Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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