A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

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If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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I'm Polish.

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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What's the difference between an egg and a Llama? The'yre both not lamps.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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