How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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