A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

who is smarter than a human? a nerd

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

thumb_up thumb_down -7

"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops