Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

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I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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kathryn atkins

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops