How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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knock knock Goodbye

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knock knock who's there? faith

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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