what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Santa isn't real

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops