How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

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why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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Yo mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl! I'm sorry,that was just really rude of me. I've been talking to my therapist and I think this insolent behavior came from my dad. I always wanted his approval but he always liked my brother more and blah blah yak yak.....

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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whats bloop with an m? matthew

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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