My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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h

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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