Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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