mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

VITAMIN C!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Albino African Americans

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops