How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -11

ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your so gay, that you like men!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what is red and smells like paint red paint

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops