what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the worst thing about gang rape? Going last.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops