A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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