Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What is my name? I dont know

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A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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