Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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The New York Giants

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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Why did the little boy with hepititess die? his mther drove him into the river!

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops