What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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What's worse than this That :(

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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Im taking a shit right now.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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Why did the dog die? He was old

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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